


Small But Deadly

by Bun_Bun_Hanzo



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Bunny D.Va, Bunny Genji, Bunny Hanzo, F/M, Fluff, Hanzo is a jealous bab, Hanzo’s an actual bunny, M/M, alienssss, also rip Angela, eheheheh, he just has a crush on McCree, riiiip, this is not beastiality tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 09:49:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13478886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bun_Bun_Hanzo/pseuds/Bun_Bun_Hanzo
Summary: In this story, McCree has a pet bunny. That bunny is Hanzo, and he causes mayhem wherever he goes. He loves his owner very much - so much so, that he would drive anyone away who would try to take Jesse from him.As you can see in the tags, McMercy is present in this story. I do not ship it, but I thought that it would be funny to include her. Oh, and Hanzo is a lop bunny.Also, before you read this, I would just like to say that this will not end happily for Angela. No offense to any McMercy shippers out there.





	Small But Deadly

A very small form slept on the couch. His ears twitched as he rolled over on his back, kicking his legs upward. Behind him stood a man who was lost in the cuteness which was his pet, and he picked him up.

“Hey Hanzo. Wake up~” the man’s voice cooed and saw the little creature open his eyes slowly. The bunny then peered up at his owner and yawned silently. “How do you keep on gettin’ out your cage? It’s like you’re not even an actual bunny or somethin...” McCree mumbled and rubbed Hanzo’s head. The man liked the cute yellow striped bow Hanzo had tied around his ear; it was extremely adorable. He then placed the bunny down and went into the kitchen to get his coffee.

Jesse has had Hanzo for quite some time now, and he’s glad to say that his pet loves him. He loves snuggling with McCree. Hanzo loves to sleep on his chest and roll over for his owner, accepting belly rub after belly rub. McCree found it cute whenever Hanzo would fall asleep in his lap; the warm little puffball was just too cute not to love him! 

After getting his hot coffee, Jesse walked out to see Hanzo gone. He looked around and then sighed once he found the rather mischievous bunny. “Han...” Jesse begun, taking a sip of his coffee, “how’d you even get up there?”  
Hanzo looked down at his owner and his nose twitched. He was on the top of a very tall shelf - it would be a bit difficult for cats to get up there. McCree held out his hand and sipped his coffee again, expecting Hanzo to come down. He did as he was told, landing gracefully in the palm of the gunslinger.

They went about their day. Hanzo did knock over a few things which caused Jesse to groan and sigh, but he still loved his little bunny in the end. In the morning, Hanzo awoke to.... nothing. Not to the smell of McCree cooking, not to the sound of McCree... where is he?

Hanzo hopped to his cage door and put his light grey arm through one of the various holes. He somehow was able to bare claws, and, also somehow unlocked the door. The little bunny went out and started his thorough search for his owner. Hanzo looked through everything. The kitchen, the dinning room, the living room, Jesse’s room, the bathroom, the attic and basement.... everywhere.

He was tired after that but didn’t want to fall asleep. His body said otherwise, however.

A few minutes later, the front door was making a rattling noise. Hanzo’s ears perked up and heard the familiar man’s voice, but he seemed to be talking to someone.... 

“....and we’re here.”

Hanzo instantly became angry.

“Ah! Okay... so, where’s your bunny?” It appeared to be a woman’s voice. She looked around and seemed a bit confused. Jesse shrugged it off, “he always leaves his cage so, I ain’t too bothered by it. He doesn’t really like visitors. I mean, we could use this time to spend more time toge-“

Hanzo popped his head out of McCree’s red serape and glared at the both of them. McCree smiled and walked over to him, picking him up. He then turned to his girlfriend, “Hanzo, this is Angela. We’ve been datin’ for a few months and I think you’re ready to see ‘er now. Angela, Hanzo. Hanzo, Angela.” The blonde smiled and picked Hanzo up out of Jesse’s hands. She then rubbed Hanzo’s head, and he didn’t stop her. He didn’t want to look bad in front of his owner. For now, at least.

“Hey Hanzo, I gotta surprise for ya!” The man stepped into the small rodent’s view with a big smile. “Angela’s movin’ in with us!!”

 

It was hell from there on out....

Hanzo would knock over everything that belonged to Angela. Everything.   
He would hide her keys, or steal the attention away from her. She began to recognize this, and it wasn’t long until the two were competing for Jesse’s affection. 

A day later, Hanzo could be found rolling in Jesse’s bed. He’d always do this because it smelled of his owner, and he loved his scent very, very much. Once the small lop bunny rolled onto the other side, though, it smelled very, very different.

_It was disgusting._

It smelled of her. He glared down at where he was sitting and decided that there was only one thing to do...

A few hours later, Angela sat on the bed.

“Hey, why are the sheets wet? Wait a minute-“

The smell hit her straight in the face. 

**“HANZO!!”**

Angela’s voice rang out through the house, and in the bathroom, McCree was currently giving Hanzo a bath in the sink. Upon hearing her scream, Jesse sighed and looked down at the bunny, who looked way too innocent. “What did ya do?” The man asked and rubbed soap on his fluffy tail. He then rubbed the bunny’s ears. Hanzo looked at Jesse with big brown eyes. The gunslinger inched down to the bunny, trying not to be phased by the cuteness in front of him. It was not working.

The soapy bunny then pushed his nose against his owner’s, closing his eyes as he did so. Jesse sighed softly and began to wash him down.

As he was drying off his pet with a huge towel, McCree spoke again. “Look, I understand that this is all new to ya, but you’ll get used to it. I know yer jealous, but trust me,” He took the towel off of Hanzo and looked at him. “I haven’t forgotten about ya, Han.”

Later on, about two months from then, McCree was going out to get some food.

“Alright you two, I’mma go and get our food..” And like that, the man left. The two put down their fake smiles and glared at each other.

“Listen here, Hanzo.” The woman looked down at the bunny who seemed to be smiling evilly. “You cannot win this. Stop acting rude, okay? It’s not worth it. I don’t know how you always get away with it, but I’m on to you.”

The bunny rolled his eyes and hopped out of the room. Angela sighed and made herself some coffee, and when she went into the other room to look for something in her bag, something... was gone. Angela placed her cup down; she looked everywhere for it before the jingle of the necklace could be heard, and she shot her head up in that direction.

There stood Hanzo, on one of the shelves. He held the very expensive piece of jewelry in his mouth and once again, smiled evilly. “You...!”

“Give me that!” She yelled and swung her hand at him, but he jumped down and ran off. Then, began the chase.   
The two went all over the house, breaking and knocking over things, causing a general ruckus....

She lost him.

“Damn! Where did he go?” Angela spoke and then ran upstairs. She looked at the bathroom door which was cracked a bit. Light shone through it, and she opened the door. Angela gasped at what she saw...

It was Hanzo. He dangled the necklace over the toilet. He stood on seat, and looked straight at her. 

“Hanzo! Get away from the toilet!” That only made him hold it even farther. 

“Don’t..”

And farther.

“Don’t you dare...” she stepped towards him.

“You wouldn’t do it. You don’t have the g-“

_Plunk._

“No no!!” Angela yelled and raced to get her prized possession, but it was too late since Hanzo hopped on the button to flush the toilet.

**“NOOOOO!!”**

Meanwhile, Jesse was experiencing a very long wait for the food. He looked around and felt like something just happened, but brushed it off.

Back in the house, Angela chased the evil bunny down the stairs and into the kitchen. She grabbed a knife and cut him across his cheek, but..  
Something else happened. They both paused and Angela gasped at the sight.

The wound closed and healed within a second, and Hanzo smiled wickedly.   
“Wh.... what ARE you?” Hanzo bit a thumbtack and saw her swing down. He jumped over it and glared at her.  
Then, it turned into a sword fight.

Well, it was more of a ‘knife-vs-red-thumbtack-fight’ but it’s still basically the same, right?

Angela had cuts on her hands and face, but Hanzo remained unscathed. He flipped graciously through the air and dodged just about everything.  
The clashing of weapons could be heard throughout the house.

McCree finally got the food and started to walk home, but the bunny and the woman took things outside. Well, Angela was more thrown against the glass door and it shattered due to her size and how strong Hanzo actually was. The bunny... no, MONSTER, hopped back into the house to get the necessary ingredients to cook up his dish.

A few minutes later, Angela woke up to being tied to a hide wooden stake. “Huh? Where..” she looked down and saw a bunny drawn in the grass. She was utterly confused by it all, but... 

A light shone down on her. Then, she began to fly upwards. Angela screamed out for help but no one came. In the distance, however, stood Hanzo on a rock. He hopped down once she reached the top, and then the ship that was cloaked with invisibility flew off into space.

Hanzo hopped back into the house and began to clean up. The alien did it unnaturally fast, and when he was done, he rolled all over McCree’s bed. He also wrote a note and left in on the kitchen table.

The door opening could be heard and Hanzo hopped downstairs, seeing his owner. “Hey, Angie! I’m home! A...Angela..?” Jesse said and placed the food down in the kitchen, seeing the note. He picked it up and read it. “Woah. Never knew she wrote *this* neat..”  
He continued to read it and he sighed.  
“Well.. that sucks. I knew she wasn’t a keeper though.” Jesse shrugged and looked at his bunny, who was on the table. He placed his hat upside down on the table and Hanzo jumped into it. McCree rubbed his nose against Hanzo’s, “Well... I still have you, Hanzo.”

He chuckled then pet Hanzo.

No one touches his McCree and gets out alive.

_Epilogue_

Angela was strapped down to the medical bed as several alien bunnies examined her. They all had metal collars and a little screen was in the middle of them. It read ‘English’. 

A cyborg bunny hopped next to her and looked down. He was different from most of them. “Hm... very interesting...” He spoke, the collar did its job well. “Wh.. what ARE you? What do you want?” Angela’s frightened voice spoke and the bunny chuckled.

“What do we want? Well... we’ve been taking over other planets and populating it with our own. Our intellect and strength are far beyond yours and humans in general, so don’t try anything. We WERE going to take over Earth, but we heard that it’s inhabitants are ruthless, so we sent one of our best members down to investigate.”

“....Hanzo?”

“Yes, Hanzo. He is my brother. I noticed that you saw us with these collars, and he without one. He had to disguise himself as an Earthen bunny, so he had to keep the device here. My brother has collected a lot of data on humans and Earth. We have more than enough now, but... he’s become attached to this one human. This human is very fascinating... I never knew he had a soft side for bunnies.. Hanzo’s becoming too attached with him, though..”

“Why... why him?” Angela said with tears in her eyes.

“Dear puny human... do not cry. We know how easy it is to break you, but seriously. Don’t. It’s gross.”

“Yeah! It’s gross!” A smaller bunny peaked up and it was completely pink. She had pinker tattoos on her face. “Hana. Go to bed.” The cyborg spoke and the little one groaned, hopping down and away.

“Anyways... Hanzo likes being treated like a god, and well, the human is doing just that. It’s one of the main reasons why he’s not coming back right now. Once he comes back, we invade Earth and kill every living thing on it.”

A loud gasp sounded from the blonde and the bed was maneuvered to the middle. “W..w...Wh....”

The cyborg bunny hopped off the bed and onto a control pad. There was a red button on it and his paw inched towards it. “Before we launch you out into space-“

“NOO! Wait I c-can-“

“We do not need services from a human. Like I was saying, before we launch you out into space, I would like to say one more thing...”

Her eyes widened. “Angela...”

... 

...

**“I need healing.”**

Angela screamed her loudest and was shot into space, where she instantly died due to the temperature.

The cyborg turned around and hopped away, yelling down the hallways.

“Hana! You better not be eating those human junk foods!”


End file.
